Chapter 07 Java Coffee

The catkins fall gently

Lin Xiejun pulled her upstairs, but she took his arm, insisting on taking a walk in the snow. In her later memories, there was only cold and darkness. Lin Xiejun asked her about her family situation, and she didn't know how to respond, so she smiled without answering, feeling that a fine layer of frost had formed on her eyelashes. It was fine, it froze a certain feeling, preventing it from seeping down.

However, this thought was something she had long dared not to contemplate. Perhaps in her subconscious, the most unacceptable reality was still the separation of life and death from loved ones. Even hearing the word "coincidence" made her feel a sense of guilt

The television drama has reached the point where the mad protagonist, Jun Mo, suddenly admires the courage of the investors. She recalls that the actor is already at an age where he should be playing the roles of the previous generation. However, being with a girl whose youth blooms like flowers is remarkably harmonious. She marvels at the gaze of older men, which carries a broad-mindedness and wisdom that comes from understanding the world. Jun Mo seems to come back to her senses and realizes she is hungry. She chuckles, recognizing this as a sign of her automatic healing process. That year, when she reported to the hotel, General Xu looked at her in disbelief, as she had become so overweight that she could only fit into a size L work uniform. She felt quite embarrassed, remembering how General Xu had meaningfully said at the time, "Perhaps it's better not to go to the front desk."

She vaguely remembered sneaking out, only to find herself in a world of ice and snow, where her breath immediately formed a long white trail.

Perhaps it is truly time to bring this to an end

You should not smile: "Indeed, it takes several years to return. This is also good, as the materials related to his major are mostly preserved abroad."

Suddenly, it felt as if the school resembled a grand audition venue—the student council, perhaps inspired by the Super Girl competition, began to select the best classroom. Fans of Lin Xiejun were seen everywhere, campaigning for votes. Jun Mo smiled as she watched her junior classmates casting their votes at the entrance of the auditorium. The enthusiasm was truly fervent. Someone spotted her and smiled at her ambiguously, prompting her to lower her head and hurriedly walk away.

Only after stepping outside did you begin to regret it, with six plastic bags digging into your hands, leaving red marks— the biting cold wind, and she had no car.

Time unfolds like a film being projected, and in the blink of an eye, she stands in the cemetery, softly bidding farewell to her grandfather

She thought that one day, her father and mother would also have such a day. She raised her head, and the old man on the tombstone was smiling at her, while the three days of companionship were truly insignificant for the elderly man who had loved her for more than twenty years

Later, Lin Xiejun kissed her fiercely—he had always treated her like a delicate and fragile jade, carefully cherishing her. Even in kissing, he merely brushed gently over her lips—they both sensed the faintly sweet taste of blood, cruel and desperate. Her tears were cold and unrestrained, wetting both of their faces.

However, Mingwen let out a low sigh and held her hand: "Forget it, you have already parted ways long ago. Really, just let it go—please don't be like this."

If everything goes smoothly, then fate will naturally unfold just like the clear layout of a city. She even planned to return to Lin Xiejun's home together during the summer vacation of her senior year. Her preparations for graduate school were also progressing well, as her grades were already among the top. However, two days before the interview, she received a call informing her that her grandfather was critically ill. At that moment, she was flustered and hurriedly booked a flight home. Lin Xiejun accompanied her to the airport, holding her hand tightly along the way, his silence speaking volumes. She carried very little luggage, standing at the boarding gate, looking back; that tall figure stood within her line of sight, slightly pursing his lips, which instantly brought her a sense of reassurance.

Do not be perplexed, why is it that grandfather is so ill, while I am planning to leave this home? Father said that grandfather had been ill for a long time, but he insisted on not letting the family inform her, so as not to worry her. This illness came on suddenly and was extremely painful, dragging on for three to four months, tormenting a person to the point of losing their humanity—she began to understand that life is always in stark contrast to ideals. At this moment, she thought how good it would have been to listen to her father's words back then, at least she could have returned at any time to accompany the elderly.

An indescribable melancholy lingers, causing a dull ache in her heart. The ancients compared sorrow to a light rain; do you not find this fitting? She does not feel despair, but rather senses a gentle sorrow enveloping all things in the universe, like a mist that is difficult to disperse. How long will this last? A day? A year? A lifetime? She clutches her knees tighter, fixating intently on the television, as if the answers she seeks lie there.

Do not smile, for this is the person she has always liked—he is not indifferent to emotions; he is a person of deep feelings and loyalty, which is why he hesitates and wavers. His trip abroad is not for his own future, but rather for the burdens he carries, which extend far beyond her feelings. She retreats step by step, feeling as if the entire world is beginning to become absurd. If it were not for so many coincidences coming together, if he were not such a person, she could easily wait for him for a year and a half—however, the history program at L University is the lifelong dedication of his mentor, and he hopes that his students can inherit it. She retreats step by step, feeling as if the entire world is beginning to become absurd. If it were not for so many coincidences coming together, if he were not such a person, she could easily wait for him for a year and a half—however, the history program at L University is the lifelong dedication of his mentor, and he hopes that his students can inherit it.

She knows what bitterness is, having tasted it once three years ago, yet she is compelled to taste it once more. Such bitterness, concentrated and pure.

After that night, Jun Moli turned around decisively. The senior year classes were optional; she did not take a leave of absence, but instead, she packed her backpack and went traveling, thoroughly exploring the surrounding attractions. She turned off her phone and, upon reaching a certain place, used a public phone to report her safety to her family, yet she was only afraid that the ringtone belonging to him would ring.

At that time, she was with herself, and everyone said they were a perfect match. However, she never mentioned it to her family—she was the only daughter at home. Even though she had applied to this prestigious university, her parents still hoped she would stay in a nearby city for their convenience. As her senior year approached, Jun Mo felt it was time to provide an explanation. She hinted to her parents that she wanted to stay in the North, but her father outright rejected the idea, and her mother made several phone calls, her voice faintly choked with emotion. Jun Mo found herself at an impasse with her family; she believed her reasons for pursuing her studies were valid and planned to stay at the university afterward. As time passed, her family had no choice but to relent. Moreover, she genuinely liked the city where University L was located. Like all northern cities, the streets were straight and wide, orderly and neat. In winter, there was heating, unlike at home, where typing a few words on the computer would leave her fingers cold and stiff.

this year

Do not raise your head, simply say: "I want to go home to work." She avoided his gaze, staring blankly at his lips. In fact, it was merely a way to find a resting place for her eyes; she knew his answer—if it was not what she expected, then he would not be the man she knew.

Lin Xiejun smiled and pinched her cheek: "How can this be?" After the heating was turned on, it made people feel drowsy. He prepared the bed for her and said: "You should sleep first. I will read for a while."

I painted with tears

Early the next morning, during the morning inspection, Jun Mo encountered Lin Xie Jun directly in the garden, with no place to hide even if he wanted to—he sighed inwardly. Lin was casually wearing a dark trench coat, left unbuttoned, with the morning breeze lifting the corners of his coat as he stood there, exuding an air of elegance and leisure while waiting for her. Jun Mo hesitated for a moment, handed the inspection book to a colleague behind her, and then walked towards him

Do not emerge from the quilt, looking at his silhouette, which just happens to block most of the light from the table lamp, instilling a sense of comfort and certainty. She drowsily closes her eyes, and in a vague sense, it seems as if he has come to her side, bending down to gaze at her for a long time, thus allowing her to sleep even better—later, she cannot help but feel a sense of regret, for at that time, she could never have imagined that she would experience days of insomnia. She drowsily closes her eyes, and in a vague sense, it seems as if he has come to her side, bending down to gaze at her for a long time, thus allowing her to sleep even better—later, she cannot help but feel a sense of regret, for at that time, she could never have imagined that she would experience days of insomnia.

He said hoarsely, "Wait for me..." Junmo quickly interrupted him, wanting to say with a smile, but the words came out choked with an uncontrollable sob, "I won't wait... Don't make it hard on yourself." She did not know why she said this, only that her words were not wrong. What he could not express, she let herself say completely, thus, at least in the future, the only one who would regret would be herself.

Lin Xiejun suddenly fell silent, turning around to embrace her. His hand gently supported the back of her head, allowing her to lean on his shoulder. Jun Mo bit her lip, tears rolling down drop by drop, unsure if they had frozen into ice crystals

You should not think of saying anything, after a moment of silence, she merely said: "It will be difficult to meet again in the future." She shook her head slightly: "I still have to check on my work, I will leave first." She walked with her head down, her teeth gently biting her lower lip, her hair was already very long, and without the need for a hairpin, it could softly curl the strands. She couldn't help but reach out to touch the tips of her hair—her steps quickened, feeling a bit slippery and about to fall, but there was no time to worry about that. It was only after she had checked all the floors in one breath that she encountered Mingwen, who was going to have breakfast at the buffet.

He went abroad as a visiting scholar, and she had known about it long ago. However, after a year and a half, all the procedures were already complete—such an opportunity is indeed rare, and it was fought for by Lin Xiejun's mentor. He secured this opportunity for him while lying in a hospital bed, to the extent that even the mentor's wife would say, "You should take a break; your eyes are going to go blind." The old man is getting on in years; he had returned after studying abroad many years ago. Lin Xiejun is his proud student, having followed him from undergraduate studies to the present, continuously working on research topics together. Yet, no matter how great and knowledgeable a mentor may be, it cannot withstand the saying, "Time has suddenly grown late." Ultimately, he is powerless to continue. What Lin Xiejun can do is to continue exploring within the fruits of his mentor's labor, ensuring that it does not come to an end or fade away.

Not knowing how long she had been sitting, she finally got up, her mind unusually clear—she forced herself to walk to the television, hugging her knees with both hands, softly sinking into the sofa.

Their breakup sparked considerable discussion at school. Many of the younger female students seemed to see a glimmer of hope. However, her friends were unable to comfort Jun Mo, who carefully concealed her pain, not allowing anyone to touch it. She left early and returned late, spending every day in the library, whether reading or sleeping, her gaze always heavy, yet she did not exhibit the typical emaciation of someone who has experienced heartbreak—she always looked forward to mealtime, for it was the only moment she could think of nothing. She treated herself well in various ways—cooking, hot pot, buffets—resulting in her appearing slightly plumper. She left early and returned late, spending every day in the library, whether reading or sleeping, her gaze always heavy, yet she did not exhibit the typical emaciation of someone who has experienced heartbreak—she always looked forward to mealtime, for it was the only moment she could think of nothing. She treated herself well in various ways—cooking, hot pot, buffets—resulting in her appearing slightly plumper.

By the misty lakeside, she heard him slowly begin to speak, saying that upon returning to University L tomorrow, he would immediately go abroad to a certain university's East Asian Cultural Research Institute, and that his time in the country had already become extremely brief. Jun Mo wrapped her arms around herself and looked up at his profile. In that moment, Lin Xiejun turned his gaze back, meeting her eyes, and the corners of his mouth fell slightly, his voice taking on a hoarse quality: "Jun Mo"

Indeed, how could someone so sentimental behave in this manner

She returned home, only to find that her grandfather could be so shockingly thin; his legs were even as thin as her own arms. She kept vigil by his bedside for three days and nights, and when he felt a little better, he would gesture for her to peel the orange on the bedside and eat it herself

However, it has been a long time, and you may feel disheartened and apathetic. For a long time, you have been unable to forgive yourself, and using a kiss to bring closure only deepens your attachment. That year during the holiday, coincidentally, my father's friend was General Xu from Nandai. We had a meal together, and she, seeking convenience, secured a job position. I only submitted my resume to this one company—instantly, I felt a sense of grandeur as if I had completed a lifelong commitment, and at that time, he had already gone abroad. This is also good; there is no need to overthink. I only submitted my resume to this one company—instantly, I felt a sense of grandeur as if I had completed a lifelong commitment, and at that time, he had already gone abroad. This is also good; there is no need to overthink.

Do not mention Lin Xiejun to your parents, as she can no longer conceal or evade it. Her father remained silent for a long time, not saying a word

However, her foot was tripped by the passenger in front, causing her to stumble slightly, and the ticket in her hand fell to the ground—she suddenly had a very bad premonition, though she could never articulate why—she quickly turned and rushed back to his side, holding him tightly, as if she was about to lose this warm embrace

Dissect the promise

So many changes... I have lost the two most important people in my life... If it were usual times, accepting such rapid changes over a decade would be very difficult for her—yet the fact proves that the human spirit's capacity for healing is indeed infinitely resilient. Do not be surprised that you have fully endured it, continuing to live your life in a rather indifferent manner.

It is merely a separation, yet such a reason is too flimsy; anyone can casually say, "You did not love deeply enough." You do not find it ironic, do you? It is precisely because the love was not deep enough that the separation was so easy. However, she did not realize that in the years following the separation, he would always occupy a corner of her heart. Whenever relatives and friends introduced various boys to her, she could not help but make comparisons, and thus she wandered in her own world. So, the separation was easy; yet she did not foresee that in the years that followed, he would always occupy a corner of her heart. Whenever relatives and friends introduced various boys to her, she could not help but make comparisons, and thus she wandered in her own world.

You should not wait for him at the door of his dormitory with your bag on your back, looking weary from travel. She remembered sitting there for a very long time, her hands and feet already numb from the cold. Then he appeared, looking at her for a good ten seconds, as if gazing at a precious treasure. Before she could say a word, he embraced her—yet she clearly felt his resistance.

He stood in front of the stage in the school's auditorium, his demeanor gentle and composed, his voice as calm as usual: "I have been at L University since I was a student, and now as a teacher, I can only strive to repay my teachers, students, and alma mater. I will not leave this land." Indeed, his voice was so tranquil, yet no one doubted his love for the school and for academia. She stood in the corner of the small auditorium, looking through the dense crowd at countless junior students rising to applaud, their youthful faces brimming with vitality, the warmth of the auditorium enveloping them, and every face glowing with a warm hue.

Half a month later, she quietly returned to school, ultimately missing the interview for the graduate school recommendation.

The ending theme is so desolate that it sends chills down one's spine, while outside the window, a fierce wind howls, sounding eerily like a tiger's roar, striking against Jun Mo's heart repeatedly

She decisively returned to the office to call the HR department for leave, and quickly left to take the subway—half an hour later, she was back home. In fact, she found it somewhat amusing, inexplicably reminded of the brain-blocking spell from "Harry Potter," as if it could isolate a part of her mind. As for whether such a substance truly exists, capable of stifling the ever-increasing emotions, she dared not think any further.

Do not hold the cup, sitting on the small platform, the words she had been trying to forget all night—he said, this time going abroad would take several years. Clearly, in these three years, the two had not been in contact, one in the south and the other in the north, completely unrelated—what difference would it make if he went out? But with his words, she finally understood that scar—she had once thought it had long since healed—yet it was still there, never truly recovered.

Dissecting tenderness

That night happened to be the awards ceremony, and he was selected with the least experience. The auditorium was filled to capacity, even the aisles were crowded. Jun Mo stood among the crowd, silently observing.

What is the most bitter coffee in the world? It may not necessarily be from Java, but what does it matter? It is bitter to the extreme, even devoid of acidity. The purest bitterness is merely a state of mind

Fragmented phrases

You may not know why you recall these memories. Originally, she thought that she would probably never remember them again in this lifetime, either due to excessive timidity or overwhelming fear. However, by today, she realized that those memories were not significant after all; ultimately, time has dulled those pains, until the wound is once again deeply cut open.

The outline of your smile

Do not turn off the television, stand in front of the mirror and carefully tidy yourself up. Her eyes are somewhat red and swollen from crying, and the cold weather makes it particularly bitter. She applies concealer and feels that she has tidied herself up decently before heading out. After walking for about ten minutes, she arrives at Yichu Lianhua—Junmo considers herself a person who loves shopping, yet she is quite lazy. Her small home is also quite far from the city center, so when the urge strikes, she prefers to browse and pick items in the large supermarket rather than staying at home in a daze.

Each piece contains blood

Coming to his senses, he realized that it was already past the time for locking the dormitory door. Lin Xiejun suddenly said, "Then shall we go to my place and make do for a while?"

Mingwen spoke hesitantly, her gaze reflecting a hint of uncertainty: "Um, I have never asked you... do you know about Senior Brother Lin..."

Lin Xiejun said nothing, merely holding her close and softly whispering in her ear: "Don't be afraid." He gently placed a kiss on her forehead, leaving a profound imprint on her heart. Jun Mo, with her eyes almost closed and her voice choked, said: "Goodbye." In the end, he slowly let go.

Mingwen noticed that she looked quite well and felt a bit relieved: "Yes, it’s possible he might not come back." She joked, but Junmo lowered his gaze and after a moment slowly said: "How could that be? He wouldn’t do that."

The only night she did not return home during her four years at university, she walked quickly with her head down, fearing she might encounter someone she knew. Only when she entered the door did she let out a sigh of relief. He lived simply, with the only striking feature being three large cabinets filled with books. There was just a bed, and Junmo felt a bit stuffy, saying, "I'll sleep on the sofa"

Until the shopping cart was piled high like a small mountain—ranging from large packs of tissues for half a year to small promotional domestic body lotions—Jun Mo realized that she still had to carry it all back herself, which prompted her to give up on further browsing and head to the checkout. A long line had formed at the payment counter, and she idly looked around—surprisingly, there were DVD sets of the TV dramas she had seen in the afternoon at the audio-visual section. Jun Mo made a quick decision, smiling as she asked the lady behind her to keep an eye on the shopping cart, and turned to grab a set.

Her phone's battery finally ran out, and Jun Mo threw it aside in a daze, lacking even the energy to look for a charger

Looking back at my solitary form and shadow

He had been unable to contact her, not even knowing that she had quietly returned. That night, she sat waiting for him beneath his dormitory building. Jun Mo's smile was pale; in just half a month, she had lost a significant amount of weight, her oval face seemed to have been sharpened, leaving only a pair of eyes that also revealed exhaustion

Jun Mo could no longer muster a smile to comfort herself, and finally, the delicate string in her heart, which had been taut since last night, snapped with a resounding crack. In that instant, all pretense faded away, and she succumbed to her own emotions. All her efforts amounted to merely turning away and softly saying, "I will take my leave first." In front of others, she could still maintain a semblance of composure and calmness, but when faced with those past people and events, it was like a sand sculpture on the beach; no matter how exquisite and sturdy it appeared, with the gentle arrival of a wave, it would inevitably be transformed in an instant. All her efforts amounted to merely turning away and softly saying, "I will take my leave first." In front of others, she could still maintain a semblance of composure and calmness, but when faced with those past people and events, it was like a sand sculpture on the beach; no matter how exquisite and sturdy it appeared, with the gentle arrival of a wave, it would inevitably be transformed in an instant.

She had disappeared from the world for so long, until she felt sufficiently resolute to ask Lin Xiejun that question, so she boarded the train, holding a KFC family bucket in her arms, stuffing herself until her mouth was dripping with grease

She leisurely pushed the shopping cart, continuously tossing items into it, as if filling the cart even a little could somewhat alleviate the emptiness in her heart.

The floor-to-ceiling window on the fourteenth floor offers a view of the myriad aspects of life, as if one is situated among the clouds. She silently sheds tears, yet seems unwilling to accept it as she fiercely wipes them away. However, more and more tears surge forth, leaving her in a panic, unable even to wipe them away, and she can only rest her head on her knees.

It was merely an attempt to distract herself—she stared blankly at the television, where an aging Taiwanese actor was dressed in scholarly attire, reading by the light of an oil lamp. A sense of familiarity washed over her, compelling her to continue watching. The woman he loved spoke softly, yet in an instant, she took up a sword and ended her own life, scattering crimson across the ground. The male lead was also in deep sorrow, yet he remained silent, standing quietly without a word.

The farewell is before our eyes